Coincidences…

If you believe in Gibs’s Rules …Rule #39. There are no such things as coincidences ☹

I had a discussion with my daughter – a precursor to in fact a lot of FB and media outrage that the BLM protest was being lost amongst the sentiment much like I in my ignorance shared that “All lives Matter”.

It’s basically captured in this strip below.

And I guess unless you are fortunate enough to be living in a region without CNN or FOX there has been exhaustive coverage on what each polar opposite is NOT doing.

Truth be told there needs to be a structural reform to get things at least headed in a better direction,  when exactly that will be possible is anyone’s guess.

Right now however the world is looking to the USA and …I will leave it at that.

Thank you Harry Potter,  or Gandalf rather for some direction in these dark times.

So where to begin…I have always wanted to share my experiences with others and one of the most gratifying ways to realise this is by mentoring.

It’s not so straightforward as instructing , the goal isn’t to stop mistakes being made but it is about watching the protege grow and develop… mistakes are inevitable in fact necessary even.

(Without them how do we learn ?)

What I have found is that being a father certainly has been the best training to (hopefully) hone some skills necessary to be more effective.

I was also fortunate enough to attend a few workshops with professional coaching to reinforce the basics.

Mentoring can take various guises, it can be an extremely short term prospect – helping someone through some difficult decisions , being honest and supportive while questioning motives, approaches and assumptions to a “Life Coach”  and “Career mentor” which could take the route of supporting someone through various career moves and life changes.

In all of these it is important that clear boundaries are set. The mentor is not the decision maker for the mentee…the opposite in fact .

A good mentor should share their observations as objectively as possible, be understanding and help clarify anything that is not clear …call it consequence management !

Of course being a mentor means deep down that you do have an affinity for the mentee, there is usually always a sense of empathy and vested interest in that person ..you really do need to be an active listener to pick up all the signals vocal and non vocal.

Taking an active interest in what drives them as a person can only help to understand motives and behavior, ambitions and traits

Emotional intelligence is what it’s called 😊

The trap is wanting to give all the answers – it’s crucial NOT to sometimes just tell “from your perspective” what could ,should be done.

At times like this …PAUSE.

Also sometimes the mistakes you have made can be a source of understanding for the mentee…like I said being a father was good preparation 😊

I could carry on …and on but that wouldn’t really be the point. Much is written about being a good mentor. If you feel this is something for you …search away ! Or drop me a line – 24/7 I will be willing to help. To see someone you have been mentoring achieve their goals , develop new skills and achieve things they didn’t believe possible is truly amazing.

One of the most ( I think at least) traits …Lead by example.

Also treat the opportunity to mentor someone as a long term commitment, not a quick make a decision but a journey of development, guidance and growth.

So what triggered this …take a guess !

There are no coincidences…