Give me a pain that I’m used to

Yup that’s a Depeche Mode shoutout right there.

The curse that is MS is twisting its fingers around my lower spine , causing the pain ( that I’m used to) and the imbalance and spastic legs…it is what it is but yeah …it sucks. I have been intending this post for the better part of 4-5 weeks but those better days when everything seems to work are getting fewer and far apart now. ( Reality check, this was begun some three weeks ago now….)

While I have been diving into the Depeche Mode albums with Franco…it’s a weekly thing where we relive the memories around each of the Depeche Mode albums (so far ) I am always amazed at how much I live in the lyrics of different bands from over the years …none so much as DM (we are up to Violator already …quite possibly one of their best  …so far!)

I’m not sure what I’m looking for anymore
I just know that I’m harder to console
I don’t see who I’m trying to be instead of me
But the key is a question of control

Can you say what you’re trying to play anyway
I just pay while you’re breaking all the rules
All the signs that I find have been underlined
Devils thrive on the drive that is fueled

All this running around, well it’s getting me down
Just give me a pain that I’m used to
I don’t need to believe all the dreams you conceive
You just need to achieve something that rings true

There’s a hole in your soul like an animal
With no conscience, repentance unknown
Close your eyes, pay the price for your paradise
Devils feed on the seeds that are sown

I can’t conceal what I feel, what I know is real
No mistaking the faking, I care
With a prayer in the air I will leave it there
On a note full of hope not despair

All this running around, well it’s getting me down
Just give me a pain that I’m used to
I don’t need to believe all the dreams you conceive
You just need to achieve something that rings true

All this running around, well it’s getting me down
Just give me a pain that I’m used to
I don’t need to believe all the dreams you conceive
You just need to achieve something that rings true

I wish it was just about walking in my shoes but truth be told it’s more of a shuffle , walls are there to support you, open spaces are the enemy. It could always be worse and ultimately it will be but for now it’s just really really frustrating.

With summer lurking it will be a little dangerous legging it around in flip-flops but far more comfortable than sneakers 😊

Speaking of shoes…

I would tell you about the things they put me through
The pain I’ve been subjected to
But the Lord himself would blush
The countless feasts laid at my feet
Forbidden fruits for me to eat
But I think your pulse would start to rush

Now I’m not looking for absolution
Forgiveness for the things I do
But before you come to any conclusions
Try walking in my shoes
Try walking in my shoes

You’ll stumble in my footsteps
Keep the same appointments I kept
If you try walking in my shoes
If you try walking in my shoes

Morality would frown upon
Decency look down upon
The scapegoat fate’s made of me
But I promise now, my judge and jurors
My intentions couldn’t have been purer
My case is easy to see

I’m not looking for a clearer conscience
Peace of mind after what I’ve been through
And before we talk of any repentance
Try walking in my shoes
Try walking in my shoes

You’ll stumble in my footsteps
Keep the same appointments I kept
If you try walking in my shoes
If you try walking in my shoes
Try walking in my shoes

Now I’m not looking for absolution
Forgiveness for the things I do
But before you come to any conclusions
Try walking in my shoes
Try walking in my shoes

You’ll stumble in my footsteps
Keep the same appointments I kept
If you try walking in my shoes

You’ll stumble in my footsteps
Keep the same appointments I kept
If you try walking in my shoes
Try walking in my shoes
If you try walking in my shoes
Try walking in my shoes

Always a favorite of mine …wish we could all be heroes …all the time.

Where were you when I fell from grace
A frozen heart, an empty space

Something’s changed and it’s in your eyes
Please don’t speak, you’ll only lie

I found treasure not where I thought
Peace of mind can’t be bought
Still I believe

I just hang on, suffer well
Sometimes it’s hard, it’s hard to tell

An angel led me when I was blind
I said take me back, I’ve changed my mind

And now I believe

From the blackest room I was torn
You called my name, our love was born
So I believe
I just hang on, suffer well
Sometimes it’s hard, it’s hard to tell
I just hang on, suffer well
Sometimes it’s hard, so hard to tell

An unusual Seth post…with picture !

One reason we have so much trouble fixing chronic degenerative conditions is that we need to remove elements before we can start building new functions.

If we simply put effort on top of a shaky foundation, it’ll all be wasted.

The best way forward might be to take a few steps back.

Something so powerful even though this was from 2014 (This is of course Iron Sky by Paolo Nutini)

We are proud individuals
Living for the city
But the flames
Couldn’t go much higher

We find God and religions
To bait us with salvation
But no one, no nobody
Can give you the power

To rise
Over love
Over hate
Through this iron sky that’s fast becoming our mind
Over fear and into freedom

All that life
Let dripping down the walls
Of a dream that cannot breathe
In this harsh reality
Mass confusion spoon fed to the blind
Serves now to define our cold society

From which we’ll rise
Over love
Over hate
Through this iron sky that’s fast becoming our mind
Over fear and into freedom

You’ve just got to hold on
You’ve just got to hold on

“To those who can hear me, I say – do not despair.
The misery that is now upon us is but the passing of greed –
The bitterness of men who fear the way of human progress.
The hate of men will pass, and dictators die, and the power
They took from the people will return to the people.
And so long as men die, liberty will never perish…
Don’t give yourselves to these unnatural men
Machine men with machine minds and machine hearts!
You are not machines! You are not cattle!
You are men!
You, the people, have the power to make this life free and beautiful
To make this life a wonderful adventure
Let us use that power – let us all unite.”

And we’ll rise
Over love
Over hate
Through this iron sky that’s fast becoming our mind
Over fear and into freedom
Into freedom

From which we’ll rise
Over love
Over hate
Through this iron sky that’s fast becoming our mind

Over fear and into freedom
Freedom from which we’ll rise
Over love and over hate
Through this iron sky that’s fast becoming our mind

And over fear, into freedom
Freedom, freedom

Rain on me
Rain on me

This has been really disjointed, even for me. Testament to doing things when you are able …No regrets