In the light of the unavoidable political circus previewing right now I couldn’t help myself. The week has brought with it numerous examples of what is perhaps most lacking in our world, along with Respect, Integrity and Compassion.
Triggered by some fb memes this week !
The other big C, COMPROMISE
Not counting the current global concerns over the Coronavirus of course.
Stolen from the Fountain of Knowledge i.e. http://www.allthe answers.com 😊
Compromise is vital in any relationship, whether it’s with co-workers, friends, family members or your partner. It’s important to know when to stand your ground, but also to know which battles are worth fighting. Check out these seven tips on learning to compromise, and how it will help improve any of your relationships.
I for one recognise many of my shortcomings below (Not the least of which is patience !)
1. Don’t always try to be right.
The first problem with fights is that everyone involved wants to be right. We all want to win! It’s understandable that you feel that way, but it’s something you need to stop feeling. When you want to win, you’re not listening to the other side of the argument or conversation. Suspend your need to be right and listen to your partner, friend or co-worker.
2. Let things go.
Needing to be right is just the first thing you need to let go of. Don’t hold so tightly to all the past wrongs the person may have done for you. The saying is “Forgive and forget”, not “Forgive but hold a grudge”. Just because you got into a disagreement with your spouse a few weeks ago doesn’t mean it’s relevant to the one you’re having today.
3. Rethink your expectations.
Have you ever kept an argument going just because you were on a roll? But halfway through, found that you weren’t really passionate about what you were fighting for? It’s tough to admit, but it can happen a lot. One way to avoid this is to stay calm when a discussion arises so you’re not pulled into a fight. Keep your emotions in check and think about what you really want, both from your life and from the relationship. Is it important you stand your ground so firmly, or would everything still be ok if you gave in a little bit? This is important in all relationships, whether it’s with your kids, your siblings, your partner or your co-workers.
4. Be willing to change.
After you rethink your expectations, be willing to act on the changes as you see fit. It’s one thing to say you’re willing to compromise, but another thing entirely to actually act on that change. A major part of compromising is actually following through with the resolution. This will show others that you’re willing to compromise completely, not just make false promises in order to end a fight.
5. Share your beliefs and emotions.
Compromising is about meeting halfway. Don’t forsake yourself and what you believe in in order to be seen as a great compromiser. Make sure that you express your beliefs and emotions about the situation. Everyone involved in the situation needs to be heard, and the easiest way to do this is to clearly and honestly state their parts. Use “me” and “I” statements so it’s clear that this is how you feel, and that you’re not trying to force your feelings or opinions on others. If your issue is at work, make sure you don’t over-share your emotions — stay professional, but make sure you’re heard loud and clear.
6. Show appreciation.
No matter the resolution of the compromise, make sure you show your appreciation to others involved. Being willing to compromise, instead of fighting until the finish, is an admirable trait. Make sure you show how much you appreciate the other person working with you to find the best solution. Take time to evaluate the solution together and express what you like about it. Being appreciative of the positive social interaction and how working together to find the best solution made you feel.
7. Keep an open mind.
You made it through a compromise intact! How does it feel? Remember this for next time. It’s important to keep an open mind – not only for future compromises, but also in all future interactions. Keeping an open mind, being willing to change your expectations, and not trying to be right in the first place might help you avoid arguments in the future. But even if you can’t – at least you know how to compromise!
Of course, this doesn’t work too well on toddlers and Golden Retrievers…or Pugs for that matter
Trying to mediate with Jake NOT to lose his last ball. You can see the commitment in his eyes NOT !
#3 is the last of the 3 …fortunately online orders are very convenient!, #2 is MIA.
My Saturday music started really early courtesy of the restless legs, feet on fire , cramping toes…MS Rocks !
Settled on an old favourite !
Out the window Rain, Rain, Rain…and no sign of the weasel.
Hope the week ahead is an awesome one. Happy Brexit day to the UK and all of that !
Choosing to be a citizen (A Seth Godin piece)
Citizens aren’t profit-seeking agents who are simply constrained by rules. Citizens behave even if there isn’t a rule about it.
Citizens aren’t craven partisans, voting for party over fact. Citizens do the right thing because they can, even if the short-term cost is high.
Citizens live by the rule of community: If everyone did what I’m about to do, would it lead to a useful outcome?
Sometimes we call citizens heroes, which is a shame, because their actions should be commonplace, not rare. The myth of success based on short-term self-interest has been disproven again and again. It seems obvious that leaving things better than you found them is a powerful step forward, because you’ll probably be back this way again one day soon.
Every successful community, every organization, every family has citizens. It’s the citizens who define the future, because their commitment to the long-term matters.
Food for thought ?
Time for a last espresso ! (I’m compromising …3 a day only)
And of course todays Stoicism reflection, be like the “Ring Robot” ( I never knew that was his nickname !)