Reflections vs Regrets 12.10.2019
It’s never good to live with regrets , all the fb memes say so which must make it true !. seriously though most of us do harbor regrets of some sort , either decisions lamented, loves lost, things not said …I guess it’s what makes us human.
The solution must be to live without reflection then and just live in the immediate moment, no consequences for bad decisions, no learning, no reflecting…I don’t think I could ?
To me Regrets are (I hope at least) a reflection on wisdom and maturity gained during the “Lesson”. Life always seems to be a lesson of sorts , pushing our limits until we understand ourselves better, for me – understanding that I have limits and that no one can do everything on their own. Dare I say it…”Patience” is streaming over the speakers even as I reflect !
Besides this momentary reflection in all seriousness it is not good to dwell on things we “Regret” in our past ( or present) . Embrace the moment, absorb the learning and move on. I found a flurry of Seth commentaries on this…have to share ( I’m sorry )
Regrets as fuel
If regrets about yesterday’s decisions and actions help you do better work today, then they’ve served a useful purpose.
“I wish I’d taken that job.”
“I should have been more careful before I shipped that out the door.”
“I could have been more kind.”
“I’ll do better next time.”
Most of the time, though, we use regrets to keep us from moving forward. They paralyze us in the face of possibility. We don’t want to do something if it reminds us of that black hole we have in our past.
It’s useful if you can forgive yourself, because the regrets you’re carrying around are keeping you from holding onto the possibility that you can contribute even more tomorrow.
Speaking of tomorrow, one of my favourite quotes is
“If it can be remedied,
why be upset about it?
If it cannot be remedied,
what is the use of being upset about it?”
This serves as a useful lead into the last anecdote I really wanted to share today.
Wondering—past and future
Wondering about your past, about what might have happened, about bad decisions made and roads not taken… this is a recipe for not much more than regret.
But wondering about your future?
When we wonder about the future, we get a chance to begin again, to set new goals and envision bold plans.
No more chances to do yesterday over, sorry. But infinite chances for tomorrow.
If you could do tomorrow over again, would you?
That’s pretty deep for a Sunday morning! But a serious point to ponder.
I was done….BUT….this just flashed in and it is toooo good not to share.
Open the cookies
Put a bag of cookies in the break room and it might sit for days.
Open the bag and leave it out, and within an hour, all the cookies will be gone.
We are happy to take a tiny slice off the thing that’s being shared, but we hesitate to open the bag.
The same is true with all of the initiatives in our culture. Design, movements and ideas are all trapped, waiting to be opened, and then the rest of us will happily pile on.
Open the bag.